nut hugger
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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