Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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