seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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