Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
