I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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