its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
honey bunches of taint.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
