Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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