yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
