he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize