Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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