Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
