I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
