would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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