oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
