Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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