you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
