how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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