sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
