Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
