I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
