I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
