is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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