bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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