Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
