I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
