i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
