I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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