If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
