hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
