what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
