if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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