new low.... made out with someone while peeing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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