is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize