i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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