worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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