she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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