Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
