oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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