In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
