we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
