D3 body, D1 cock
Barsexuality is the new black.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
