He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
