Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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