Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
