playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have aggressive nipples.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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