Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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