This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
