i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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