Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
