it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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