I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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