im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize