3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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