Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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