I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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