dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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