HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
