what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
