Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
