dude i'm inner monologue high
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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