yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How external is "for external use only"?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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