I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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